Dont call it a come back

So any way another thing happened to me on the way to work today. I assumed my usual position, headphones on (Sleep Walker, Japanese Jazz band)eyes front and hands in the lap for almost fetal comfort.
the usual suspects minus kaiser Solsae appear but to add to the day Miss Rue Paul 2009 appears at the top of the stairs and makes a b line for the seat i front of me. Anybody remember Rue Paul? Yeah well this one is taller and white and to be honest smells pretty good. she has that citrus perfume smell that I always like in perfumes and nice hair if a little too much on the bleached blonde side. I adjust to my new surrounding plus one and get on with the journey but Rue, keeps looking over its shoulder and although I am behind it, shes desperately trying to find out of she can owl like create a few more degrees of vision behind it and at first I just don't know why because I don't give a shit. IT'S TOO EARLY TO GIVE A SHIT
So any way we get to Waterloo, by which time I'm taking my headphones off so that I can change mp3 player and I hear "Do you get off at Trafalgar Square?"
I meant, WTF? I didn't initiate any conversation. I didn't take my headphones of so that some one could invade my preparation for the day, WTF?
I look up and into the eyes of Rue, who is smiling its smile with tobacco riddles gaps and what I imagine the taste of its last encounter on its lips. "No" I say with as much disinterest as I can muster without being aggressive. "Oh." it says. I am already half way to re seating my headphones when it says something else. I carry on with Maggie Farm by the Special blaring in my ears (its the B side to Do Nothing the first of Lynval Golding's song writing efforts and a TUNE) and look it dead in the eye with Big Ben looming over its shoulder, lean back and close my eyes. This is the type of thing that happens to that Danny Wallace and he gets paid to wirte it down but me?
Any way back to the it, who when I open my eyes is still glancing, sheepishly over its shoulder waiting for me to speak to him. And I ask it a question. The one that burns in my mind when I get approached by homers, and suspect devices as I call them.
"is it me?"
"What?" it says?
I say "Is it me?, do i give off the come get me smell? do I look like I want to hold your hand or suck your dick? because I don't. I really, really don't mate."
The look on him is funny, like he's trying to process that fact that I DO NT want him, The north African man to my right looks over and he's laughing....fro the shoulders so I know he understands or has been listening.
I want to explain to It that I may have smiled at him during the process of establishing that She's a He and Hers a Him (Bizmarki)but that was a good morning stay the fuck away from me smile. A your OK mate, I'm not shopping smile. That was a smile I developed the day a mate of mine told me he'd met a girl in a club, gone home with her and found that while his friend was giving him a shiner he was grabbing at a small dick pushed up behind a nut sack. The smile that came over me when he told me he let her finish him off because it was good and then got out of there because to have kissed her any more was "gay". I want to tell It that theres no offense being offered but that in the queue for devious deeds, he is way down the line behind twins, gingers, films stars , singers, corner shop keepers, garter belt wearing and affordable strippers and amputee's. But I don't, I basically want it to fuck off and respect my space.
In the instance that I'm trying not to join my NA mate in laughing It gets up and shouts "You ain't all that, you bastard." to which I finally start laughing out loud.
I know this sounds like a really bad blog because basically I'm laughing at some poor fuckers shortfall but It's statement did hurt me on a level because I do think I'm all that to an extent, doesn't everyone?
OK, well as I look out of the window at It walking bolt upright plastic dignity intact I'm reminded that some days start in a mundane and grey way but today? Today started with my ribs hurting and a classic situation dealt with in the only way it could have been. 

Please let this be the hardest thing I have to deal with today. excuse the pun. LOL